Sugar daddy scam: why they send money first, then ask for some back

How the sugar daddy scam works

The BBB describes the pattern. Someone contacts you on a dating or social media app and offers to be your sugar daddy or sugar momma, promising a weekly allowance of hundreds or thousands of dollars in exchange for your affection.

1. They send a check, or pretend to send money to your bank or a payment app like Cash App, PayPal or Apple Pay.
2. They tell you to keep most of it as your allowance, after one small favor.
3. The favor is to send part of the money to a friend in need, pay a bill, buy gift cards or donate to a charity.
4. The check bounces or the payment was never real. The money you sent was yours.

The upfront fee version

Some people are told the money is ready but stuck. The BBB says victims have been asked to cover transaction or processing fees, sometimes in Bitcoin, before the allowance can be released.

No real payment needs you to pay a fee before you can receive it. A request to pay in gift cards or crypto is the scam showing itself.

Why the money looks real in your account

Banks must make deposited check money available quickly, often within a day or two, but that does not mean the check is good. The FTC says fake checks can take weeks to be discovered, and when they are, the bank takes the money back and you may have to repay it.

That gap is the whole trick. Read fake check and overpayment scams for how it works and how to check a check.

When they ask for your bank login or ID

Some scammers say they need access to your bank account to deposit your allowance. The BBB reports cases where the scammer then asked for a Social Security number and ID to verify the payment.

If it already happened

1. Stop sending money and do not spend any of the money they sent. If it was a check, ask your bank whether it has actually been paid, not just made available.
2. Call your bank or credit union now if you deposited a check, gave out your login or sent money. Change your online banking password if you shared it.
3. If you bought gift cards, contact the gift card company straight away, tell them a scammer has the card numbers and ask for a refund.
4. Report the account to the dating or social media app and keep the messages.

• ReportFraud.ftc.govReport the scam to the Federal Trade Commission.
• IC3.govThe FBI’s internet crime complaint center, for losses online.
• IdentityTheft.govIf they got your ID, Social Security number or account details.

Questions