Romance scam signs: how to tell if someone online is scamming you

How a romance scam usually starts

It often starts on social media, not a dating app. The FTC says nearly 60% of people who reported losing money to a romance scam in 2025 said it began on a social media platform.

The person is attentive, messages every day, and the relationship moves fast. Soon they ask to talk by text, email or a messaging app instead of the site where you met, where there is less moderation and nobody can report them.

The stories scammers tell

Many say they live or work far away: on an oil rig, in the military overseas, or with an international organization. That gives them a reason they cannot meet, and later a reason they need money.

• A medical bill or emergency they cannot pay
• A plane ticket or visa so they can finally visit you
• A fee to get them out of some kind of trouble
• A crypto or trading opportunity they want to share with you

The investment version can feel like help, not a request. The FTC says scammers casually offer investment advice to draw people onto fake investment platforms. More on that in pig butchering scams.

What the request for money looks like

Gift cards, wire transfers, payment apps and crypto are how romance scammers ask to be paid, because the money is hard to get back.

Romance scam red flags and safe signs

To check their photos, the FTC suggests a reverse image search of the profile picture. Our guide on how to tell if a dating profile is fake walks through it.

Talk to someone you trust

Romance scammers work by keeping you isolated. The FTC suggests asking whether friends or family are worried about your new partner, and talking it through before you send anything.

If you would hide the request from people close to you, treat that as the answer. A real partner can wait while you check.

If it already happened

1. Stop sending money. Scammers often come back with a new emergency or a fee to release earlier payments.
2. Contact whoever you paid through right away: your bank, the gift card company, the wire transfer service, the payment app or the crypto exchange. Tell them you paid a scammer and ask for a refund.
3. Report the profile to the dating app or social media platform where you met.
4. Keep the messages, profile names, usernames and payment receipts.
5. Be wary of anyone who later offers to recover your money for a fee. See recovery scams.

• ReportFraud.ftc.govReport the scam to the Federal Trade Commission.
• IC3.govThe FBI’s internet crime complaint center, for losses online.
• IdentityTheft.govIf they got your ID, Social Security number or account details.

Questions